Beyond the “Me First” Myth: Unpacking the True Essence of Self-Love

Self-love. It’s a term thrown around often, but what does it actually mean? Is it about indulging in bubble baths and expensive face masks? Or is there something deeper at play?

Self Love is often shrouded in societal misconceptions and internalised negativity. But what if I told you that it isn’t about inflated egos or narcissistic tendencies? What if it’s the key to actually unlocking personal empowerment and a fulfilling life?

Let’s debunk some self-love myths!  It isn’t selfishness or just about pleasure  (It’s not just my mind that goes straight to Masturbation when I hear “self love” is it? – Though this is a part!)  Societal shame and judgment, especially for women, often make us feel it’s wrong to prioritize ourselves.

I can not emphasise enough the crucial role of self-love, which is the foundation for fully accepting love from others. If you do not fully love yourself, how can you possibly believe that someone else can fully love you? You will never experience the full power of reciprocal love. (Again, this is not a euphemism!)

It is more commonly accepted now that self-care is essential, but old habits die hard! After lifetimes of conditioning we need constant reminders to break free from self-destruction and set a positive example for everyone around us, especially our children.  I was tempted to say daughters here, rather than children, however, boys miss out on self-care lessons too.

I also want to highlight the subtle difference between self-love and self-care. Self-love is the ability to love your whole self just as you are. Self-care is something you do to show how much you love and respect yourself. This can be anything from a bubble bath to creating and maintaining personal boundaries.   

Our negative self-talk (80% of our thoughts!) is a real self-esteem killer. But research shows words have power! By using insights and positive affirmations like in Ravikant’s “Love Yourself, Like Your Life Depends On It” or Robbins’ “High Five Habit”), we can retrain our repetitive thoughts (95%) and swap negativity for self-compassion.

But self-love isn’t just about lofty ideals; it’s about integrating small, actionable steps into your daily life. My daily well-being non-negotiables, the 4 “M”’s: Movement, Meditation, iMmersion and Matcha, demonstrate how self-love can be woven seamlessly into even the busiest schedules.  In fact, Pilates, cold water therapy etc. are what makes it possible for me to maintain my busy schedule.

My F2F sidekick, Julie, starts her day phoneless with a guided meditation and water. She prioritises sleep (and nutrition of course!) and calls on tools such as quick EFT or breathwork rituals to get her through challenging days. Habituating these self-care practices makes it easier when the sh1t hits the fan and actually makes it hit less! 

Are you convinced yet? Let’s look at the broader implications of self-love and connect it to your ability to manifest desires and achieve personal goals. A strong sense of self-worth becomes the bedrock upon which we build our capacity to reach for and attain what we truly seek.

Much like when I said that cultivating a loving relationship with ourselves positively impacts the relationships around us,  If we do not love and respect ourselves, we will not attract and manifest what we desire because [maybe deep down] we do not think we are worth it.

Which leads us to a really powerful question: “If you truly loved yourself, what would you do?” 

Or, “What would you not do?” Journal on this, and if you feel called to share it with me, I would love that!

I hope this helps you understand why self-love is so crucial, and how it affects every aspect of your life. True self-love isn’t about loud, aggressive confidence that often masks insecurity. Instead, it’s a feeling of inner peace and calmness. With genuine self-love, internal and external criticism and obstacles simply bounce off you without causing lasting damage. You’re genuinely confident and strong.

In a world that often conflates self-care with indulgence I encourage you to view it as a vital component of a fulfilled and empowered life. It’s not just about feeling good; it’s about cultivating a life of vitality, happiness, and self-acceptance on which you can build the life of your dreams.

It’s time to take action! Re-evaluate what truly matters and start treating yourself with the kindness and compassion you deserve. This self-love will ripple outward, inspiring you to treat others with more love, respect, and understanding. Together, we can create a kinder world, one person at a time.

Big Love, Catherine x

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